Sunday, September 21, 2014

Team Penske to Rest Starters Next Week at Dover

Coming off a second-straight Sprint Cup win, Team Penske has announced that, with next week's race being essentially meaningless, they will rest their starters in the AAA 400 at Dover.
Screenshot of the 4 car's hood today
"We have nothing to gain, since we're already locked-in to the next round", said team owner/captain Roger Penske.  "We go out there every week to win, but we don't want anybody getting injured in a wreck, on a pit stop, or pulling on a slot machine at the Dover Downs Casino."
Penske has said that he has cleared the plan with both of his drivers, with Brad Keselowski expected to contribute to the ESPN broadcast, while Joey Loagno will busy himself with prank phone calls to Kevin Harvick.
"We think we're going to put Sam Hornish Jr. in one of the cars next weekend, but he said he's not sure if he wants to give up his current work schedule of seven days a year", Penske explained.  "We don't know who'll be in the second car, but we're thinking about having a raffle for it at one of our Penske Truck Rental facilities in North Smyrna."
Despite criticism that Keselowski and Logano should at least have to start the race next Sunday, Penske said that he will likely get medical exemptions to avoid having to run at Dover.
"Brad's going to come down with a pretty bad case of hay-fever", Penske said, "while Joey, well, he's going to be sidelined with a lobster-pinched nerve."
When asked if a driver COULD skip a Chase race, even with a medical exemption, Brian France groggily woke-up in his Daytona Beach office.
"Whu-uh…PENSKE FILE!", France said.  "Can't wait to really…sink my teeth into that Penske File!"