Sunday, September 28, 2014


While Jeff Gordon drove to victory lane in an incredibly dull race at Dover, four drivers were officially eliminated from the 2014 Chase for the Sprint Cup.  Here's a rundown:
An advertising slogan for this
weekend's race was "The Monster
Eliminates".  Ew.

AJ Allmendinger: The little driver that could couldn't "do the worm" into the next round, running in the back most of the day.  "Yeah, we sucked all day today", Dinger said upon exiting his car.  While it was an obviously disappointing experience, it wasn't all bad, as the 47 at least finished "the best of the rest", essentially making them winners of Nascar's Playoff Bowl.

Kurt Busch: Kurt ran a silver-colored car to celebrate his 500th Cup start (and, apparently, attempt to blend into the track surface).  However, he was unable to sneak his way into the next round, fading late after contending for a Chase spot most of the day.  Well, at least this means we don't have to deal with Kurt humble-bragging about his continued career recovery.

Greg Biffle: The Biff got stiffed, failing to advance into the upcoming Challenger Round.  So, if you're keeping track at home, Roush-Fenway Racing has one of three drivers still in the Chase, and he's leaving at the end of the year.  While it doesn't make sense from a management standpoint, it does explain why the Red Sox suck.

Aric Almirola:  The hallowed number of John Andretti will not move on, as Aric Almirola and the RPM team were unable to get the miracle they needed to advance.  In his post-race interview, Almirola described his feeling as "sad", which is a pretty accurate description of how most people feel after spending time in Dover, Delaware.