Sunday, November 18, 2018

Nascar at Homestead: A Race of Goodbyes


Today’s season finale at Homestead isn’t just a strange, oddly-arbitrary way to name a season’s long champion—its also a way to say goodbye to some of the sport’s longest-running pairings and drivers.  Here’s a look at how most of these occasions are being marked.
(Note—this does not include Cole Whitt’s retirement from the sport, as that was important enough to be celebrated earlier on its own)

Jimmie Johnson’s split from Chad Knaus—both the Michael Jackson and Alien Ant Farm versions of “Smooth Criminal” will be playing in the 48 hauler.

Lowe’s leaving the 48 team—Jimmie Johnson will be making his first-ever trip to a Home Depot on Monday (no, not to find sponsorship—he just really needs a new circular saw).

Denny Hamlin’s split from Mike Wheeler—well, according to Denny he was going to retire with Wheels, so maybe its time to get the 11 car ready for Christopher Bell?

Ryan Newman departing RCR—Newman’s likely going to have a subdued affair before leaving for Roush Racing—the best move he could make……in 1998.

Jamie McMurray (most-likely) leaving Ganassi—just like one of his sponsors, he’ll ask for no onions on his triple cheeseburger—he’ll likely get what he expects, but you never know.

Daniel Suarez leaving JGR—joining the “Kicked out of Gibbs” club with JJ Yeley and Matt Kenseth—meetings are held at a local Dallas Cowboys bar.

Furniture Row Racing shutting down—final, last-ditch effort to see if team chemists can figure out how to formulate, bottle and market “37-Hour Energy”.

Last race for the Ford Fusion—collecting four-leaf clovers, rabbits’ feet, and lucky pennies that things go better with the Mustang than things went with the Chevy Camaro.

AJ Allmendinger’s last race for JTG-D—uh, I dunno, maybe they’ll give him some Clorox or something.

Kurt Busch possibly leaving the 41 car for Gannasi—celebrate another race in which he was able to run instead of getting shot by his vengeful ex-girlfriend.