(Attractive middle aged woman lying on bed with a race-tire)
Woman: “Everyone likes to watch something exciting. But I think most women would prefer to watch something popular. The truth is, 48% of major sports programming suffers from Ratings Disfunction, or ‘RD’. So if you’re having trouble getting YOUR ratings up, maybe its time to ask your series if a Dale Junior Win is right for you.”
(Woman walks around aimlessly)
Voiceover: “Dale Junior Win is not right for everybody. Please consult your doctor to see if your website is able to handle the increased traffic that comes with a Dale Junior Win. If you smoke, Dale Junior Win could raise the risk of side-effects. If you ARE Smoke, Dale Junior Win could raise the risk of whining. If a Dale Junior Win lasts more than four weeks, please consult a doctor, as this could be a sign of cheating. Common side-effects associated with Dale Junior Win include Constant Commercials, Occasional Swearing, An Unwieldy Beard, and Dry Mouth.”
Woman: Ask YOUR doctor if Dale Junior Win…is right for you.