Sunday, May 3, 2015

A Dale Earnhardt Jr. Commercial I’d Like to See

(Attractive middle aged woman lying on bed with a race-tire)
Commercial Screen-Shot
Woman: “Everyone likes to watch something exciting.  But I think most women would prefer to watch something popular.  The truth is, 48% of major sports programming suffers from Ratings Disfunction, or ‘RD’.  So if you’re having trouble getting YOUR ratings up, maybe its time to ask your series if a Dale Junior Win is right for you.”

(Woman walks around aimlessly)
Voiceover: “Dale Junior Win is not right for everybody.  Please consult your doctor to see if your website is able to handle the increased traffic that comes with a Dale Junior Win.  If you smoke, Dale Junior Win could raise the risk of side-effects.  If you ARE Smoke, Dale Junior Win could raise the risk of whining.  If a Dale Junior Win lasts more than four weeks, please consult a doctor, as this could be a sign of cheating.  Common side-effects associated with Dale Junior Win include Constant Commercials, Occasional Swearing, An Unwieldy Beard, and Dry Mouth.”

Woman: Ask YOUR doctor if Dale Junior Win…is right for you.