Our fine Connecticut colleagues over at ESPN are doing their annual "V Foundation" auctions, giving fans chances at memorabilia, tickets, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Here at Spade Racing Network TV, we've decided to rip-off…er, I mean, pay homage, to this endeavor with some auctions of our own. All proceeds will go to the "DC Foundation" to fund the annual Spade Racing/Derrike Cope All-Nude Calendar.
AUTHENTIC RACE-USED STERLING MARLIN HAIRPIECE--Here's your chance to own a hair piece of history. You'll receive one of the many "sandy-blonde" toupees used by Sterling Marlin during his sterling racing career. Buyer pays for shipping and initial cleaning fee.
DREAM DATE WITH TONY STEWART--Yes, Nascar's most-eligible bachelor will escort you to a dinner at the restaurant of your choice (Burger King and/or Outback Steakhouse strongly preferred). While the ideal winner for this experience would be a female, males are invited to bid, so long as they can provide enough Schlitz.
ANTI-EXPERIENCE WITH JIMMY SPENCER--This highly-requested experience is perfect for any race-fan. The winner will be guaranteed to NEVER meet, talk to, or otherwise interact with Jimmy Spencer. Winning bidder must confirm that they do not live in the Charlotte-area (or Berwick, Pennsylvania). Important Note--due to high-volume of requests, the Kurt Busch Anti-Experience is no longer available.
USED #43 RPM "PAINT SCHEME" WRAP--"The King" Richard Petty gives you the opportunity to buy one of the 38 unique car wraps placed on his #43 Ford Fusion this year. You can use said wrap as a makeshift tarp, compact-car cover, or as a really-random "man cave" decoration. Supplies are NOT very limited.
TOYOTA RACING DEVELOPMENT RACE-BLOWN ENGINE--Yes, the same pieces of machinery that are destroying Kyle Busch's season can now be yours. Buyer must arrange pick-up, transfer, and removal of "install engine into whiner's car" stickers before receipt.