Friday, July 13, 2012

New Hampshire "News" and Notes SPECIAL EDITION



To celebrate the final week of tolerating Wally Dallenbach Jr. announcing Nascar, here's a look at the commercials we've heard SO MUCH that our EARS ARE ABOUT TO BLEED.

When you rely on other websites for Nascar humor, you get bored.
When you get bored, you get tired.
When you get tired, you need a pick-me-up.
When you need a pick-me-up, you buy an energy drink from the back of a pick-up truck.
And when you buy an energy drink from the back of a pick-up truck, you test positive for a banned stimulant.
Don't test positive for a banned stimulant--choose Spade Racing.

Kurt and Kyle Busch for KFC:
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, Kyle.
No, Mac and Cheese, Kurt.
Mashed POTATOES and GRAVY, Rowdy.
MAC. AND. CHEESE. KuBu.
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, you Nationwide Series owner who can't turn a profit!
Mac and Cheese, Mr. I-ruined-the-Busch-name-forever!
MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY, GIBBS BUTT KISSER!
MAC AND CHEESE, REPORTER TICKER OFFER!!!

Fans are constantly clamoring for a new racetrack, specifically either a short-track or road course.  Where could it be built?
"How are things on the West Coast?" --Portland or Seattle could work.
"Rocky Mountain HIIIIIIIGH, Rocky-Rocky Mountain HIIII-iiiigh"  --Denver's a possibility.
"Alllll my exes live in Texas" --They could have a dirt race on the Austin F1 track.
"Born on the Bayou.  BOIN ON DA BAAAAYOU" --New Orleans could host the Bounty 400.
"I'm BACK, back in the New York groove" --Yeah, right.