Thursday, February 23, 2017

Uncle Max: An Introduction and Daytona Weekend Picks

For years I’ve been the only writer here at Spade Racing, but as of today, that all changes.  They say that gambling is the national pastime, and that everybody’s uncle is a Nascar fan.  Well, we’re combining the two as my Uncle Max, gambling expert extraordinaire and longtime assistant manager at big box stores region-wide, will provide insight in analysis into the world of Nascar gambling for every Cup race this year.  And now, without further adieu, UNCLE MAX!!!
Thanks, nephew.  Like he said above, I’m a pretty avid gambler, particularly on professional sports.  I’ve won my workplace pick ‘em pool for football three years in a row, and I always run the March Madness bracket challenge with my friends down at the bar.  Now I’m not going to lie to any of you—Nascar is not my forte.  But when my nephew asked me help out on his site, I started right up with the research.  I had people at work wondering why I was spending so much time with my head buried in my smartphone in the break room instead of going outside to smoke like usual—I was reading up on who dominates where, who’s due for a breakout year in 2017, and, well, figuring out how to light my ex-wife’s new boyfriend’s lawn on fire and get away with it.
Now, I might not be able to watch as many races as I’d like—the boss puts me on weekend duties at work, since I’m the only one with enough experience to handle customer returns—but I’ll be putting up my picks for each Cup Series race every Friday for the entire season—thank you, public wi-fi that happens to cover my townhouse!  If my research is any indication, it’ll be pretty easy to see why everybody’s Uncle is such a big Nascar fan—and you’ll be able to add ME to the list…well, at least until football season starts back up again.

OK, so let’s get started here: My nephew Mike wants me to pick the winners for every points-paying touring series race this year, which is apparently the Cup, Xfinity, and Truck Series.  That reminds me, I gotta call Xfinity or Comcast or whatever the hell they call themselves now to get my cable bill lowered—they make me keep that land line phone line, what the hell do I need it for?  What is this, 1991 all of a sudden?  Jeez—I wish, that was a damn good year for me…but I digress.  Anyways, here’s my inaugural picks:
Truck Series Next Era Energy Resources 250: Johnny Sauter—hey, its hard to go against the champion.
Xfinity Series PowerShares QQQ 300: Kasey Kahne—yeah, I take back what I said about going against the champion—besides, one of the ladies I work with is always wearing Kasey Kahne Dodge stuff.

Cup Series Daytona 500: OK, so here’s how I’ll pick Cup races—I’ll give you a favorite (self-explanatory), a next-favorite (in case someone else in your pick ‘em pool has already picked the favorite), and a dark horse if you’re feeling adventurous.  FAVORITE—Dale Earnhardt Jr.—even though I don’t think “the fix” is in.  NEXT FAVORITE—Joey Logano—kid looked stout in what I could see from the break room TV in the Clash.  DARK HORSE—Clint Bowyer—Mr. Everyman gets his mojo back in a new team with new cars?  Tough, but not impossible.