Friday, January 6, 2017

Spade Racing’s 2016 Silent But Deadly Game Tournament SEMIFINALS

For years Nascar fans have been saying that the “Chase for the Cup” is not a valid way to determine the best driver in Nascar’s top series.  How, then, can we find out who truly is “the best of the best” in stock car racing?
That’s where Spade Racing comes in.
Taking inspiration from the WWF/E’s 1998 Survivor Series “Deadly Game” tournament to crown a new champion, we at Spade Racing have assembled the 15 greatest drivers in Nascar (…and Chris Buescher) in a secret underground fighting tournament to determine who really IS the best.
And now, here it is, the Spade Racing Silent But Deadly Game Tournament!

SEMIFINALS
8. Kurt Busch vs. 5. Joey Logano
RECAP: An early “match-of-the-year” contender, Busch and Logano put on a clinic in the squared-circle, showing some of the best chain-wrestling Nascar has ever seen.  Each combatant seemed to have a counter for each other’s holds, and while both competitor has had their share of bad blood with the fans over the years, the crowd slowly turned their reverence to the two as the match wore on.  As the time-limit drew near, Busch landed a Monster Mash that was quickly reversed by Logano into a Pennzoil Plunge, leading to the 1-2-3, the victory, the berth in the finals, and a standing ovation from the crowd.  Logano then helped Busch to his feet—only to quickly low-blow him while bellowing out “That’s for ruining The Captain’s plans!  NEVER trust The Penske File!!!”  WINNER: Logano, 14:34, PIN.

6. Jimmie Johnson vs. 10. Carl Edwards
RECAP: Jimmie Johnson brought his new attitude into this match, failing to flinch when Carl Edwards feigned a before-the-bell punch.  Once the match DID start, however, it appeared as though each competitor had met their match, as an even see-saw battle went on, and on, and on.  Despite repeated warnings from the referee, neither Johnson nor Edwards moved to apply their finishing move, and the match went “Broadway”, ending in a time-limit draw.  The competitors seemed just as confused as the crowd, unsure what this would mean for the finals berth, only for authority figure Mr. McFrance to appear on the NascarTron, announcing that both men would advance to the finals, making the final match a Triple Threat for the championship.  WINNER: (none), 15:00, DRAW.