Tuesday, January 10, 2017

BREAKING NEWS: Carl Edwards Announces Retirement to Not Pursue Role with Spade Racing


The Nascar world was rocked this morning when news got out that superstar driver Carl Edwards would not be racing this year, or possibly any year going forward, effective immediately.  While Edwards will address the media at large tomorrow at 10am EST in a press conference, Edwards has already clarified ahead of time that he will NOT be pursuing other interests involving this website.
“I just wanted to clear the air before the big announcement tomorrow—its been reported that I’m going to announce that I’m leaving Nascar to ‘pursue other interests’”, Edwards said in an open statement to the media.  “While that may be true—we’re still working on the exact wording—I would like to assure everyone that I will not be pursuing any interests at all with Spade Racing, a comedy Nascar website run by some weirdo out of Delaware.  Just wanted to make that clear to everyone so there’s no speculation.
“There’s a lot I need to get off my chest, and I’ll tell you all about that tomorrow at the press conference”, Edwards continued in his statement.  “However, just to get this out of the way first, I will in no way be contributing, writing for, or collaborating on anything involving Spade Racing, Race Shop Reviews, or any upcoming projects involving Mike Mackler, the webmaster/writer/janitor for those websites.  None at all.”
The Edwards announcement has sent the Nascar world scrambling looking for any possible reason why a driver would suddenly announce their retirement in the prime of their career, be it for health reasons, family issues, or simple burnout.  However, one reason can now officially be crossed off the list.

“I’d like to conclude my statement today by inviting all members of the media to Joe Gibbs Racing tomorrow to participate in the press conference”, Edwards said, “however, again, please make sure that Spade Racing is not there.”