Thursday, October 27, 2016

Nascar Hell In A/The Cell

As we approach Halloween, we can be sure of two things: 1.) I won’t get invited to a Halloween party, and 2.) It’s almost time for the WWE to host their annual “Hell In A Cell” match, or, 2a.) “Hell In The Cell”, depending on your preference.  Thankfully WWE has hooked up with Nascar to put forth this event:

(Card Subject to Change)

Pre-show:
“Rapid” Ryan Reed vs. “Choo-Choo” Charlie Kimball—Insulin on a Pole Match

Undercard:
Miles the Monster vs. Milo The Moose—Dover vs. New Hampshire showdown for Dullest Race of the Year
Paul Menard “Burns” and “Meow” Ryan Newman vs. “Bullseye” Kyle Larson and “Number One” Jamie McMurray—“Best of the Rest” Tag Team Match
Greg “The Biff” Biffle vs. “Panama” Jack Roush—Winner gets to decide when the other leaves the sport

Title Matches:
Nascar Six-Man Tag Team Title Match—Jimmie “Jam” Johnson, Alex “Substitute Driver” Bowman, and Kasey “I’m Still Here” Kahne (with Dale Earnhardt Jr.) vs. “Concrete” Carl Edwards, “Chin Fuzz” Denny Hamlin, and Matt “Even I Don’t Know Who Will Sponsor My Car with DeWalt Next Year” Kenseth (with Erik Jones)
Nascar Tag Team Title Match—The Penske Posse (Brad Keselowski and Joey Logano) vs. The SHuRe Things (Kurt Busch and Tony Stewart)
Nascar Rookie of the Year Title Match—Chase “I Blame Myself” Elliott vs. Ryan “Forever 21” Blaney vs. Chris “Rain Man” Buescher (loser has to drive home with Brian Scott)
Main Event Triple-Threat Match:

Nascar Championship Title Match—Kevin “The Closer” Harvick vs. Kyle “Rowdy” Busch vs. Martin “Bad Luck” Truex Jr.