Hot of the heels of the “Battle at Bristol” football game and the recent announcement of an LPGA event coming to Indianapolis’s Brickyard Crossing golf course, Dover International Speedway has announced that they, too, will be joining the recent multi-purpose craze by hosting an outdoor poker tournament on the track in 2017.
“We constantly look at ways to better-utilize our facilities here, and we’ve been looking for something to add to our Nascar slate ever since that IndyCar race nobody came to”, said Dover International Speedway spokesperson Julia Anna. “With gambling legal in the casino on-site, poker was a natural addition to our schedule. Oh, and please stop calling us ‘Dover Downs’, we haven’t used that name for the Nascar track in decades.”
The poker tables will be laid-out along the front stretch, allowing fans full-view of the entire tournament. Reportedly the final table, featuring the last six remaining players, will be located on the start-finish line itself, giving the winning player the chance to claim the victory at the same spot as Derrike Cope and Jody Ridley did the same.
“Our main grandstands are capable of holding upwards of 50,000 fans, so we’re looking to break the current record by a mile—a MONSTER mile, if you will”, said Anna. “Delawareans love their sports, be it upper-level lower-level college football at the University of Delaware, or embarrassingly lower-level football at Delaware State, so we know that we’ll have a healthy turnout for this event. Oh, and please stop calling us ‘Dover Downs’, we haven’t used that name for the Nascar track in decades.”
Nicknames have already been suggested by on-site gamblers for the event, such as “The Diamond State Duke-Out”, “Hey, What’s A Guy Gotta Do To Get a Drink Here?”, and “How Many Horse Racing Dates They Down To Here Now Anyways?”.
“Just think—for the first time that we can remember, people will get to experience the excitement of outdoor poker, seeing as players study their cards intently and, occasionally, raise the stakes to a reasonable amount”, Anna explained. “Just imagine sitting in the Richard Petty Grandstands and watching as a professional poker player works on an inside straight.
“Oh,” Anna concluded, “and please stop calling us ‘Dover Downs’, we haven’t used that name for the Nascar track in decades.”