Sunday, October 30, 2016

Jimmie Johnson Can’t Figure Out How He Won; Chad Knaus Credits “The Plan”


A befuddled Jimmie Johnson emerged victorious at Martinsville Speedway today, honestly unsure of how he was able to win today’s Cup Series race.
“Um, I don’t really know how we made this happen”, Johnson mentioned earnestly to the assembled media.  “I mean, we ran out of gas on that weird caution when (Carl) Edwards wrecked, shouldn’t I have been a lap down, or at least dropped back to the tail end of the longest line for not maintaining the proper speed?  I dunno, maybe I shouldn’t ask so many questions, but it’s weird, y’know?”
Johnson’s win puts him in the “Championship 4” at the finale in Homestead, though he admitted he will have trouble putting a possible championship in perspective.
“We’re always trying to win a championship, and you never want to look at gift horse in the mouth, but really, how do we put THIS into perspective?”, Johnson asked aloud.  “I mean, when we look back on this, if we manage to win it all, what will we say, ‘Boy, we really got lucky there, I think, at Martinsville, THAT was the moment that propelled us to a record-typing fifth championship?’  I guess these things happen.”
However, in a marked difference in demeanor, Johnson’s crew chief Chad Knaus seemed to be calmly satisfied in his team’s effort, giving credit to “The Plan”.
“The Plan is correct.  The Plan is sound.  The Plan rules all.”, Knaus said almost robotically in the post-race media session.  “Nascar tried to deviate from The Plan.  Nascar didn’t know the power of The Plan.  Now Nascar knows.  Now The Plan will be followed to its finality.”
Klaus refused to say what, exactly, “The Plan” is, although he appeared to have issues explaining what it was himself.
“The Plan is bigger than all of us.  The Plan is not to be explained.  The Plan is not to be known”, Knaus said, adding, “Only in the end times of Homestead will The Plan be completely revealed to all.”

Meanwhile, Ricky Stenhouse Jr. was seen arguing with his crew chief over his “JGR-like strategy” to stay near the back all day.