Saturday, February 13, 2016

Brad Keselowski Brawls Post-Race with Plastic Bag


Denny Hamlin won a wreck-filled Sprint Unlimited tonight, but the fireworks weren’t constrained to the track.  After pulling into the garage, Brad Keselowski’s temper boiled-over into a fight with the plastic bag that had been bump-drafting him all night.
“Get off!  Get away!  Leave us alone!”, an irate Keselowski was heard screaming at the bag.  The bag fought back after being pummeled by attempting to affix itself to Keselowski’s mouth.
“Mmmmmph—I’LL MELT YOU ON MY EXHAUST!”, a furious Keselowski yelled once no longer suffocating.  The pair were then separated by Nascar officials.
“You know, whatever-your-name-is, I’m all for close action on the track, but what the bag did tonight was uncalled for”, Keselowski told a reporter after calming down.  “I don’t know WHAT the bag’s spotter was thinking, but you can NOT bump-draft like that.  It’s just unprofessional and unfortunate.”

The bag left before giving comment, but his teammate hot dog wrapper was overheard saying that payback would come at Martinsville.