Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Better Trophies

He's got my vote!
This past Sunday Jimmie Johnson won yet again at Dover International Speedway, home of the coolest-looking trophy in Nascar.  Other than Martinsville famed grandfather clock, the rest of the Cup series’ trophies are sadly lacking in originality and local color.  So here’s some BETTER trophy ideas…

California: bucket of tar

Chicagoland: bronzed Chicago-style hot dog

Darlington: a single egg on an otherwise empty plate

Daytona: replica run-down motel with boarded-up windows

Homestead: miniature billboard reading “NOWHERE NEAR SOUTH BEACH”

Kansas: dust; wind machine

Michigan: oil painting of the U.S. 500’s start

Phoenix: silver dog’s leg

Richmond: pile of cigarette butts

Talladega: “I Survived ‘Dega” commemorative t-shirt

Watkins Glen: boot nobody ever uses

Atlanta: fur coat

Charlotte: empty seat

Sonoma: chance to smash a wine bottle over the head of the driver of your choice

Kentucky: golden speed bump

Las Vegas: framed lithograph of Kurt Busch yelling

New Hampshire: magician’s hat

Texas: bbq tongs

Pocono: the pyramid from “The $25,000 Pyramid”

Indianapolis: pillow, ear plugs, sleeping pills