NBC to Re-Launch Nascar Coverage with Race Nobody Can Watch

With only one more race remaining on Fox Sports’ portion of the Cup schedule, NBC and NBCSN have unveiled their plan to get fans engaged, excited, and ready for their Nascar coverage—a race held on a Sunday night when the majority of fans cannot watch.
They'd better not bring him back
“If there’s one thing we know about Nascar fans, its that they’re a bunch of beer-swilling rednecks who don’t really have jobs”, said NBC Sports executive Tony Michaels.  “So of course it wouldn’t matter to have a race on a Sunday night, especially when virtually nobody gets off from work the next day—heck, they’re Nascar fans, not real people!”
NBC has already begun airing commercials promoting its coverage, prepared by the advertising firm Pandering+Lame.  The commercials include an NBC sitcom actor chosen for his large mustache, and commercials featuring Nascar drivers using patriotism to promote tv coverage.
“I mean, all Nascar fans love their country, right”, Michaels said at a recent press conference.  “I mean, they always show the national anthem on tv, so they must be the kind of people who’ll watch anything if the competitors say they love America, right?  And its not like any of them have to go to WORK the next day!”
NBC has also integrated its marketing plan into NBCSN’s daily Nascar show, unsurprisingly called “Nascar America”, and sequestering most of its Nascar personalities in a North Carolina soundstage (dubbed “Burton’s Garage”) far away from their regular studio outside New York City.

“If there’s one thing Nascar fans want, it’s beer, chaw, and racing, and that’s what we aim to give them on NBC”, Michaels said.  “Just like how football fans want nine different pre-show commentators, and horse racing fans want an ex-figure skater commenting on people’s hats.  At NBC, we know our audiences.”