Monday, March 23, 2015

What if Kurt Busch HAD Won Yesterday?


Yesterday saw a possible win by Kurt “The In-Law” Busch thwarted by questionable calls by Nascar officials.  On one of the debris cautions, Busch came on his radio and compared Nascar to professional wrestling.  Well, if Busch HAD won yesterday, what would it have sounded like?  Have a look:

Kurt Busch (in Victory Lane): My, God. (Crying) Thank you.  Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm almost embarrassed by the response, but when I see this...but when I know I spent 15 years trying to make you fans miserable, it was worth every damn minute of it! Now, someone told me that Stewart-Haas Racing was having a party tonight, in Fontana! Could that be true, that the 2004 Cup champ, that Brian France said was suspended, is alive and well?!? Brian, this might be my only shot. But, I got to tell you, I'm going to make it my best. Is this what you call a great moment of TV? That's wrong, because, this is real! This is not bought and paid for! It's a real life situation! Just like the night in Homestead, Florida, when you looked at me, tears in my eyes, and said, "God, that's good TV." That was real! Matt Kenseth passed the torch! It was real, dammit!  You think fans would’ve been crying at home, like I was on TV, if it wasn't real? This guy (points at Kevin Harvick), my teammate, is one of the greatest drivers to ever live. And you Brian France…you squashed him one day in Martinsville. Then you get on the phone and tell me, “Stay away from the track, you’re suspended”.  “Stay away from the track?”  Me?  You know what? I look I myself in the mirror the next day, and I saw a pathetic figure with terrible taste in girlfriends.  And for that, I owe you, the racing fans...I owe these guys...an apology. Because, it won't happen again, where we let Brian suspend us… 
(Brian France is paged in over the loudspeaker)
Busch:  You're an overbearing @$$****. You're obnoxious, overbearing…abuse of POWER!  You...abuse of power! Cut me off! 
Brian France: You will never ever win a race here again! 
Busch: Abuse of power! You suck! I hate your guts! 
France: My House. You're history!  Go to Indy!
Busch: You are a liar, you're a cheat, you're a scam!  You are a no good son of a b!#(h!  Fire me!  I'm already fired!  Fire me!  I'm already fired!