Sunday, March 29, 2015

Brian France Spotted at St. Pete Collecting Debris


While Nascar was running a marathon race at Martinsville this afternoon, chairman Brian France was nowhere to be found.  Nowhere, that is, until he was spotted at the St. Petersburg street course collecting debris for future Cup races.
This baby will cause more cautions
than Robby Gordon
“Hey, don’t tell anyone I’m here”, France was caught telling an IndyCar official shortly after the start of the Firestone Grand Prix of St. Petersburg, “we need some random pieces of metal and carbon fiber to shake up the finishes of our own races—ooh, a winglet!  That’ll do great!”
France appeared to try and disguise himself as a member of the safety crew, wearing a firesuit with the nametag “Frian Brance”.
“Come on, just let me get about a ‘Junior’s about to go a lap down’s worth and I’ll be good to go”, France was heard whispering.  When an official asked why he wasn’t at his own series’ race, he answered “eh, it pretty much runs itself nowadays—they just follow the script like they’re supposed to do.  Besides, I couldn’t find it anywhere on tv.”
France’s appearance nearly went unnoticed, until he was outed on tv by broadcaster Allen Bestwick.
“Oh, and we have another caution, debris all ov—wait a minute, that’s that guy who used to run my old series!  Hey Bri—thanks!  Now I only have to work four days a year!”
France was spotted talking to a race fan upon leaving the track about his future plans.
“Well, I figure I’ll be able to use this stuff next weekend—Jayski says its the Easter Bunny 500!”

Fans at the St. Pete race were unavailable for comment, as they were still arguing about the CART/IRL split.