Timmy Hill Pits Early to Apply New Sponsor’s Decals


Nascar fans caught an odd sight at Phoenix International Raceway, as driver Timmy Hill seemed to pit off-sequence early in the race despite a lack of mechanical or physical damage.  Fans were even MORE surprised when they saw his crew go to work affixing the decals of a new sponsor, one that had apparently been signed mere minutes prior.
“We’re always looking for new partners for our team, but this was a new one!”, Hill said after the race.  “I got a call a few laps after our scheduled pit stop that I needed to come in right away—I asked why, and my crew chief simply said, ‘Their check finally cleared!’”
Hill’s pit crew was seen quickly going to work placing vinyl graphics of new sponsor Avondale Cosmolition to the car, mindful of the new five minute “pit road clock” they had to beat to avoid being disqualified for the race.
“Our pit crew might not get the accolades, the fancy uniforms, or the steady paychecks of the big boy teams, but they can still bang out a job like nobody’s business”, Hill said.  “Whether its changing four tires in sub-20-seconds, fixing a broken splitter, or applying decals to a car without leaving a single air bubble, they’re really something else.”
Despite residing on the “other end of the garage”, Hill has shown expertise at signing a number of unorthodox sponsors over the years, from the large and well-known to the small and local, such as the one signed for this race.
“I’d just like to let everybody out there know that we still have spots available for your company, foundation, or classified ad”, Hill said, speaking directly to the camera.  “If you have something to say, don’t post it online—post it on a race car.”

Uncle Max: Phoenix Weekend Picks


Weekly picks from Spade Racing writer/webmaster/janitor Mike Mackler’s uncle.

Man, I am ROLLING in the Xfinity Series!  Two straight wins with Kyle Busch!  Sure, its not the Cup Series, but hey—I’ve won quite a few Fantasy Football championships this way.  Its like I always tell the young guys who join the leagues I’m in—even if you can’t get the lights-out running back in the draft, you can still make some gains with a solid tight-end and a deep, productive bench.  Then they usually ask why I’m telling them this, and that they only wanted to know if I could work for them on Saturday Night.
On the Cup side of things, wow, what a fight!  It was pretty cool to see Logano’s crew stand up for him—you don’t really see such camaraderie in sports anymore.  As for Busch?  Why the heck was his teammate Denny Hamlin just standing there?  What, was he afraid that if he joined in the Vice-Principal would see him and ban him from graduation ceremonies?  Because he’ll just pin it on him anyways even if he just stands there minding his own business!  Wait, what was I talking about again?
Anyways, here’s my picks for the upcoming race weekend at Phoenix (total wins in parenthesis):

Xfinity Series DC Solar 200 (2 wins): Erik Jones—looks like I can’t pick Kyle Busch again, so I’ll just pick Kyle Busch 2.0.


Cup Series Camping World 500(k):  FAVORITE—Kevin Harvick—the king of Phoenix rises again.  NEXT FAVORITE—Joey Logano—can he rise above drama?  DARK HORSE—Kyle Larson—he’ll pick the right line this time.

Joey Logano vs. Kyle Busch: Spade Racing’s Tale O’ The Tape


Nascar took the government’s advice and decided to Spring Forward—into DRAMA!  Last weekend’s crew-aided takedown is likely just the start of the latest rivalry between two guys you don’t particularly like that Nascar will cram down our throats—and here’s the breakdown!

Nickname
Joey Logano: “Sliced Bread”, the kind of nickname bestowed upon an 18-year-old by the media
Kyle Busch: “Rowdy”, the kind of nickname bestowed upon an 18-year-old by himself
"Time to go do something exceedingly stupid!"

Weight-class
Joey Logano: Featherweight
Kyle Busch: Straw-weight

Back-up
Joey Logano: His entire crew
Kyle Busch: Denny Hamlin standing off to the side

Is he Penske material?
Joey Logano: Yes
Kyle Busch: No

Is he a Cup Series champion?
Joey Logano: No
Kyle Busch: Sorta

Could he use his primary sponsor’s product as a weapon?
Joey Logano: Would make the fighting surface crazy-slick
Kyle Busch: Only on Ryan Reed

X-Factor
Joey Logano: His teammate could just talk them to death

Kyle Busch: His brother’s ex-girlfriend