Sunday, July 16, 2017

“Track Holes” Considered for 2018 Nascar Cup Series Races


Today’s action at New Hampshire Motor Speedway was halted for a time due to the emergence of a hole in the racing surface.  Shortly after examining the issue, however, a Nascar executive was heard considering adding such so-called “Track Holes” on a permanent basis next season in order to change up the racing experience.
“Imagine it—the 30-some-odd greatest drivers in the world, not just racing each other, but also racing around randomly-placed cracks and crevices in the track—how exciting would THAT be?”, a high-level Nascar executive was heard saying upon surveying the damage to the track.  “You’d have door-to-door action as drivers try to avoid the holes—it’d be perfect for on-track contact!”
The executive (unaware that he was being listened to) went on to explain other ideas apparently in the works to improve the on-track product for tv and at-the-track audiences.
“First it was stages, now we can do track holes”, the executive said whilst tenting his fingers Mr. Burns-style.  “Then after that, we can finally put in a figure-eight track at Kansas!  And a jump-ramp at Pocono!  It’s perfect!”

Track executives at Dover and Martinsville were said to be arguing with NHIS owner Bruton Smith over who would be allowed to take credit for creating the concept of “track holes”.