Sunday, April 23, 2017

The OTHER Proposed New Flags for Nascar

Due to today's rainout, there'll be no real "The Burnout" article this week--dang real life getting in the way!!!

In early 2017 Nascar announced the arrival of stage racing, something that made fans say they were “finished with Nascar” for roughly the 12th time.  This also necessitated the institution of a brand-new flag—the “checkered green and white”—to display at the end of the first two stages, the first new flag added to Nascar in decades.  Going with Nascar’s usual plan to introduce as many new aspects to the sport as humanly possible at once, a few other flags were proposed and even designed, only to be tabled till the next time Brian France shows up at a race (so, Daytona in July).  Here’s a look:

COREY LAJOIE’S ABOUT TO SPIN FLAG: meant to be displayed once the flagman notices that the 83 car is starting to try and run far above its quality (and driver’s talent), this will keep the number of multi-car wrecks Mr. Sensitivity cases to a minimum.

GET BACK TO THE STUDIO MIKEY FLAG: going hand-in-hand with Nascar’s new ability to move up start times if weather requires it, this flag will cause Michael Waltrip to cut his “grid walk” short, saving fans, drivers, and visiting celebrities valuable minutes out of their lives.

MEANINGLESS XFINITY SERIES WIN FLAG: although Cup drivers are more limited than ever from ruining Xfinity Series races, this flag would’ve been used whenever one still managed to do so.  Reportedly there were also plans in the works to reduce these drivers’ share of the winner’s purse by simply charging them for “track time”.

FOOTBALL’S ON FLAG: intended for the sport’s later-season races, this flag would let those at the track know that the NFL’s early games had kicked off, thus allowing racers to know that nobody was watching, and that this would be a good time to fight, curse, or flip people off.