Tuesday, March 6, 2018

WWE Fastlane: On Rusev Day, WWE Parodies YOU!


3 here represents the number of fans he had
Typically here on Spade Racing we (er, me) like to talk about how pro-wrestling influences Nascar.  But at WWE’s annual Fastlane pay-per-view event, its the opposite—Nascar influences pro-wrestling, and it goes far beyond just the name.  Here’s a look at what you can expect to see:

Stage Wrestling: The match will be stopped at the five and ten minute marks to allow wrestlers to make any needed adjustments to their fighting styles.  Strange how all the matches go long enough to include both stage breaks, isn’t it?

Pit Stops: Wrestlers will be allowed to make a sub-20-second break with their crew, applying Nascar concepts to sports-entertainment.  So, basically, oiling up the wrestlers even more.

Evil Authority Figure: All decisions at this event will be made by a Brian France-like chairman who will constantly antagonize fans and competitors alike.  This has NEVER been tried in pro-wrestling before.

Restrictor Plate Wrestling: No actual restrictor plates will be used—instead there will just be 40 competitors in the ring at once, and eventually it will look like a car crash.