Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Nascar Announces Revolutionary “Stageless” All-Star Race Format

In keeping with the tradition of Nascar trying new race formats in non-points events, Nascar officials announced earlier today that they will be attempting a revolutionary new concept in this year’s All-Star Race—a race with no stages.
"We're this close to getting our
Playoff system right--just let us make a
few dozen more changes"
“What we will attempt this May will be a first in recent memory for Nascar—a race with no stages”, Nascar Chairman Brian France said in a teleconference from his office in Daytona Beach.  “We at Nascar have always been about pushing the envelope for what we present to the fans, and we feel that this ‘stageless’ format, while strange and unusual, will give our fans a fresh perspective on what drivers and teams can do.”
While the length of the race (typically around 100 laps) has yet to be determined, France said that the simple introduction of a race without any pre-determined breaks should be enough to spike interest.
“Just imagine it—you go to a race and you have no idea when the first caution period will be”, France opined.  “That would make anybody wonder how drivers, pit crews, and crew chiefs would handle the strategy of that.  We’ll provide a ‘guide to stageless racing’ in the days before the race, just to make sure fans know what to expect, or NOT to expect, at the race itself.”
Nascar is working with TV partner FS1 to make sure that they are prepared to have their announcers possibly talk for upwards for 30 consecutive minutes due to the lack of a stage break.  Furthermore, Nascar Officials will make sure that all drivers are properly hydrated before attempting what could be over 150 miles of non-stop racing.
“We’re already expecting ticket sales to be fast and furious”, France said, “and I’ll be sure to watch the action from my offices here in Florida.”