Saturday, May 13, 2017

Nascar Commissions Study to Figure Out Why Commercials Lead to Cautions


Stating that tonight’s Go Bowling 400 at Kansas Speedway was “…the last straw”, Nascar Chairman Brian France announced that he will finance an intensive study to figure out why every time tv goes to a commercial, a caution comes out.
Me in a few minutes, and why I'm posting this now
“There has to be some sort of correlation”, France said from his Daytona Beach offices.  “I mean, every single time it seems like it happens, doesn’t it?”
France said that he will be working with numerous racing and television experts, as well as veterans in the fields of causality and quantum raceology.
“This obviously isn’t what our fans want—our fans want hard-hitting, side-by-side action when they watch racing, not finding out that someone smacked the wall while there was a commercial”, said France.
Several theories have been posited as to the reason why such “commercial-cautions” seem to happen, such as the frequent presence of Corey LaJoie, or possibly the fact that approximately 65% of an average broadcast is taken up by commercials.  France, however, pledged to dig deeper.

“There has to be a way to please our fans, our broadcast partners, our sponsors, and our shareholders”, France explained.  “If not, then we only have forty, fifty years left before we reach an IndyCar-level of irrelevance.”