Sunday, May 7, 2017

AJ Allmendinger Explains It All

AJ Allmendinger was asked about a number of other issues throughout history after his wreck at Talladega—here were his responses:
"Harv tore us apart!"

The start of World War I: “I saw Archduke Ferdinand coming down the street, and then the 4 car was really crowding him over to the side of the assassin”

The end of World War II: “The Enola Gay was loaded with the bomb, and the guy who nudged it out, HE was nudged earlier by the 4 car”

The assassination of JFK: “The grassy knoll was actually the 4 car in a special paint scheme, it bumped into Lee Harvey Oswald.  Oh, and Harvick pulled the trigger for Jack Ruby, I think.”

The Iran-Contra Affair: “Mistakes were made—mostly by Kevin Harvick.”

Y2K: “The only reason the computers didn’t crash was because I was there to stop the 4 car from crashing into them.”

Getting popped for pill abuse: “I don’t want to snitch on anyone, but the guy who gave me those pills?  His hand was nudged by a guy whose name rhymes with Devin Varhick.”