Friday, December 18, 2015

Your Guide to the Many Stock Car Racing Organizations of This Great Nation

Ahoy, fellow racing fans!  Now that we’ve finally licked those Nazis and Japs, we’re all geared-up for a much-more fun battle—on the race track!  Yessir, everybody from Dallas to Daytona is ready and rarin’ to go racin’ in their stock cars—so much so that the men in the suits have all started their own racing series!  How can anyone keep track of such goings-on?  With this handy-dandy guide, that’s how!

(Legend: Name, Acronym, Founder—Fun Fact)

Stock Type Auto Racing Series (STARS), “Bullet” Bill Owen—Three classes are available: Strictly Stock, Really Strictly Stock, and Seriously Guys Really Strictly Stock.

Handley Engines Presents Championship Auto Team Series, HEPCATS), Jim Lee Handley—One-beatnik-per-car rule to be strictly enforced.

Southern States Super Stock Series (SSSSS), Steve “Speed” Sherman—Special Super Speedway Surprise!

National Stock Car Racing Association (NSCRA), O. Bruton Smith—Even if it fails, Bruton’s a level-headed-enough man to avoid a petty war of words and lawsuits in the future.

National Championship Stock Car Circuit (NCSSC), “Bill” Big France—Little to no chance of succeeding—and when they fail, good luck on anybody letting this guy run a major racing series!