Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Two Perspectives: Before and After

"Thank GOD we have some drama going into the race this year again...and the Cowboys suck."

Joey Logano, after spinning out Matt Kenseth at Kansas: “Yes!  This will finally earn me the respect of my dad!”
Joey Logano, after being wrecked at Martinsville: “What th—oh no, my dad’s gonna be REALLY mad at me…”

General fans, after Talladega: “Whew—at least nobody got wrecked TOO bad today.”
General fans, after Martinsville: “All right—someone got wrecked BAD!”

Joe Gibbs, five minutes prior to the Martinsville wreck: “Man, the Redskins suck.”
Joe Gibbs, five minutes after the Martinsville wreck: “Why do they put Jay Glazer in those Subway ads?”

Danica Patrick, midrace at Martinsville: “That stupid 38 car—I’ll show him the meaning of respect!”
Danica Patrick, postrace: “What do you MEAN someone else exacted revenge?  That’s not fair!”

Media, externally: “This is completely unprofessional and not real racing—fans who like this should be ashamed of themselves!”
Media, internally: “THIS stern lecture to those rednecks will surely get me that baseball job of my dreams!”

Brian France, post-Kansas: “That was quintessential Nascar”
Brian France, mid-Martinsville: “Brees threw for ANOTHER touchdown?  Jeez—why did I take the under on this game?”

Matt Kenseth, post-Kansas: “I’m gonna teach Logano a lesson.”

Matt Kenseth, post-Martinsville: “My tire went.”