Sunday, August 16, 2015

Brad Keselowski Honors Rusty Wallace by Becoming Insufferable


Continuing the celebration of Team Penske’s 25th year in Nascar, Brad Keselowski ran a throwback Miller Genuine Draft paint scheme at Michigan today.  To continue the tribute to longtime Penske driver Rusty Wallace, Keselowski has spent most of the entire weekend being an insufferable irritant to everyone he meets.
“I tell ya, this hot rod is flat out FLYIN with these cats today”, Keselowski told a reporter he’d hunted down during practice.  “We can probably get a few more horsepower out of this Ford engine, so I’m going to spend the next hour of so complaining to Nascar about Chevy.”
No chance Brad can copy Rusty's
white-guy fro.
Wallace was Penske’s first full-time driver in Nascar, tallying numerous wins in both the MGD black-and-gold car and the white-and-blue Miller Lite car.  Keselowski says he plans to honor Wallace’s winning performance on-track and his obnoxious behavior off-track.
“You know, anybody can talk a big game, like me for instance”, Keselowski said while getting a barber to thin out his hair.  “But when it comes down to it, I tell ya, you just gotta go out there and put up or shut up.  So when my teammate comes over to ask about my set-up this weekend, it’ll be time to shut up.”
In addition to the retro paint scheme, Keselowski had some fun recreating some of Wallace’s famous feuds.
“We tried to get Ryan Newman to beat me on the track, then I’d spend the following week complaining that he’s supposed to help me”, Keselowski said.  “I also wanted to start a friendship with the driver of the 3 car, then have him wreck me, then throw a water bottle at him.”
Keselowski has said that, despite the lengths he’s going to—including whining about local airport amenities—his celebration of Penske’s 25th season won’t just end today.

“We’re trying to run a Miller High Life car later this year, so I’ll spend that weekend being pissed-off at Darrell Waltrip, just like Bobby Allison used to be, although these days, it’ll probably help me fit-in.”