Homestead "News" and Notes: The Tale of the Tape



This Sunday, Nascar will crown its latest Sprint Cup Champion.  The only two drivers with a chance to win the Sprint Cup are Brad Keselowski and Jimmie Johnson.  Let's break down the match-up:

--Team Owner
Brad Keselowski: Roger "The Captain" Penske
Jimmie Johnson: Rick "The Felon" Hendrick & Jeff "Holdmeback!" Gordon

--Sponsor
Brad Keselowski: Miller Lite, aka Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice
Jimmie Johnson: Lowe's, aka WHY CAN'T I FIND THE DAMN LANTERN SECTION!?!

--Relationship with Fans
Brad Keselowski: Connects using such irritating platforms as Twitter
Jimmie Johnson: Still gets requests to get Dale Jr's autograph for them.

--Crew Chief
Brad Keselowski: Brad Keselowski
Jimmie Johnson: Chad Knaus (Gary Nelson without the charm)

--Teammate Distractions
Brad Keselowski: AJ Allmendinger tested positive before a race.
Jimmie Johnson: La Leche League protests of Kasey Kahne.

--Memorable Pre-Race Shout-Out
Brad Keselowski: "Kyle Busch is an ass!"
Jimmie Johnson: "Hope we can have a good race out there today."