Austin Dillon Parachutes into Victory Lane



A week after having his car dinged by a skydiver at Texas, Kevin Harvick recovered for a win in the crash-marred AdvoCare 500.  However, his car was not in perfect shape, as RCR Nationwide Series driver parachuted into it as it rolled into Victory Lane.
"Wait, what's this car doing here?  Oh boy, my 'mistake'!", said Dillon, making the airquotes around "mistake" that Michael Waltrip hates.  "I just wanted to come in and congratulate Pop-Pop (Richard Childress) on another great Cup win…ok, *A* great Cup win!"
"I was watching most of the race from our private jet--just like Ronald Reagan did in '84", Dillon said, while putting on his gigantic cowboy hat.  "Once I saw there was a red-flag, I got into the jumping position.  By the way, what WAS that red flag for?  Some fluid on the track or something?"
Dillon, who managed to block Kevin, DeLana & Keelan Harvick with his gigantic face, redirected the focus of the media to the Nationwide Series' championship battle.
"We're still in the hunt, only 25 behind (Ricky) Stenhouse.  I think there might be another guy, y'know, that guy who runs for the Wood Brothers, running in between us, but I'm sure he'll have a little, shall we say, 'Engine Trouble', next week, right Pop-Pop?"
Childress, owner of his grandson Austin Dillon's race-team, was congratulatory of Dillon for his aim.
"He really was right on the mark, wasn't he?"  Childress said to the assembled media, with Harvick trying to peek over his shoulder.  "I still think that they should've called the race after that wreck with the caution coming out, but hey, we don't race for wins.  We race for wins in 2014."