Sunday, April 22, 2012

Denny Hamlin Uses Casey Mears' Secret Set-Up in Kansas Win



After winning a tense battle with Martin Truex Jr. at Kansas, Denny Hamlin admitted in victory lane that the win was because of a small, green gecko.  Apparently the gecko provided Hamlin with the secrets kept by one-time race-winner Casey Mears.
"After seeing all those commercials, I got a little curious."  A victorious Hamlin said in victory lane.  "So I went searching for the gecko and found him hanging out at Germain Racing.  Once I got some hard liquor in him, he was ready to talk."
"Everybody knows that Casey's the best driver in the sport", said Hamlin's crew chief, Darian Grubb.  "I'm always wary of taking the driver's advice for a brand-new set-up, but once I heard it was Mears' set-up, I mean, really, how can you say no?"
The gecko, a sponsor representative from Mears' sponsor Geico, was reportedly also willing to divulge other trade secrets to Hamlin.
"I also got Casey's top-secret bbq sauce--er, I mean, SECRET sauce--recipe from the little lizard", said Hamlin.  "It just goes to show that you have to pay attention to The Little Guy.  No, not Chad Little.  NO, not Jason Leffler."
The gecko was unavailable for comment, though unconfirmed sources have him in hiding from The Dreaded Mears Gang.