Uncle Max vs. Last Year’s Winners: Phoenix

Sure, this is a rough start to the year for ol’ Uncle Max, but this is NOT the time to worry.

You know when you worry?  When you’ve bet your last $500 on the Super Bowl.  When you work Black Friday with a bad back.  When you answer a spurious online dating request for someone who seems to cycle through the same three responses to all your questions.  When your car’s “Need Service Now” light is on for three straight months and you have a road-trip to make.  When there’s a snowstorm coming and you don’t stock up on milk bread and beer.

THAT’S when you worry…although I will get a little nervous if there’s another 2019 repeat winner before I notch one.

CUP SERIES Fan Shield 500: 2019 Winner (2 WINS) is Kyle Busch.  FAVORITE: Kevin Harvick—here’s hoping Happy can recapture some magic in the desert to get me into the win column.  NEXT FAVORITE: Martin Truex Jr.—does this count as a home track for him? DARK HORSE: Chris Buescher—feel-good win on fuel mileage.

XFINITY SERIES (2 WINS) LS Tractor 200: Kyle Busch—let’s be honest, it’ll either be him or Brad K.

TRUCK SERIES (1 WIN)—off

Rex White: Nascar Hall of Famer Retirements—Who Hung On Too Long?

Unlike other sports, Nascar can see drivers compete well into their 50’s.  While this allows for some pretty cool stories and added fan memories, it also can lend itself to some drivers staying active well past their prime.

With Jimmie Johnson being just the latest driver to announce his retirement from Nascar (effective the end of the 2020 season), I wanted to take a look at drivers who voluntarily retired from the sport to see if they hung on too long or left at just the right time (or maybe even a little too soon).  By “voluntary retirement” that means I’m not including anyone who was killed or seriously injured while driving.

Instead of looking at EVERY driver (even though interest in an analysis of Greg Sacks’ latter years could be quite high) I’m limiting it to Hall of Fame inductees—for now.

(Drivers listed in order of their Hall of Fame induction)

NOTE: Those inducted primarily or exclusively for achievements outside of driving (team ownership, crew chiefing, etc.) will not be considered.  Cup performance is all that’s considered for this piece.  Also, the more modern term “Cup Series” will be used instead of Grand National, Winston Cup, etc.

Rex White

DRIVING ACCOMPLISHMENTS: 1960 Nascar Cup champion.  28 Cup Series wins.  Scored top-ten race finishes more than two-thirds of the time.

LAST HURRAH: White defended his championship with a second-place points finish in 1961.  He then retired from full-time driving.

FINAL YEAR(S): Although he didn’t post any race wins, White was still competing for top-fives for his final two years of 1963 and 64.  He then retired for reasons that, to this day, are still not entirely clear.

DID HE HANG ON TOO LONG?: No.  White raced the majority of his career in underfunded equipment, which makes his accomplishments throughout his short time in Nascar even more impressive.

Timmy Hill to Win Kyle Busch Bounty with Exploding Piano Trick

Longtime independent driver Timmy Hill showed immediate interest in claiming the “Busch Bounty” put up by Kevin Harvick to any Cup Series regular who can beat Kyle Busch in a Truck Series race.  Today, in an exclusive interview with Spade Racing, Hill revealed his top-secret plan—an exploding piano meant to fell Busch before the race.

Believe me, if all those endearing
young charms...

“I got the idea watching old Looney Tunes cartoons”, Hill said.  “What I’ll do is set-up a piano at driver introductions.  I’ll claim that its a gift to Kyle from a local sponsor.  But here’s the trick—I’ll have sheet music ON the piano that Kyle won’t be able to avoid!”

Hill continued to explain his fiendish plan with, “Once Kyle sits down to play ‘Those Endearing Young Charms’, the key he’ll have to press for the 9th and 10th notes will be rigged to set off an explosion!  He won’t have a chance to win the race, and that bounty money will be MINE!”

Hill said that his exploding piano will not cause any permanent damage to Kyle Busch, but merely will make it difficult for him to drive that night in the Truck Series race.”

“Oh, I have no desire to hurt or maim anyone”, Hill assured us.  “I have the brightest minds of my hometown of Port Tobacco, MD (EDITOR’S NOTE: Port Tobacco has a total population of 13) working day and night to make sure that the worst that will happen will be Kyle getting his hair blown back, and maybe some piano keys blowing into his mouth in a hilarious fashion.”

The bounty, available to any Cup Series regular who can beat Busch cleanly in any of his remaining four Truck Series races, has attracted the attention of such drivers as Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott.  But Hill has claimed that his exploding piano trick will see HIM win the $100,000.

“My plan can’t fail!”, Hill exclaimed, before adding, “Well, unless Kyle can’t get the notes right.  I hate it when that happens!”

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