Sunday, September 17, 2017

Richmond Ambulance Driver Joins Nascar on NBC Broadcast Team


In a controversial move that has sent shockwaves throughout the Nascar media world, NBC has announced that the ambulance driver who parked at “pit-in” for last Saturday’s Cup race will be joining their broadcast team next weekend.
“At NBC, we’re all about reaching out to the fans and giving them what they want.  And what better way to gauge what fans want then by social media activity?”, said an NBC Sports spokesman in a press release.  “More Nascar fans than ever—and even some non-fans—were talking about what happened on Saturday night, and we at NBC want to bring that excitement to the rest of the Nascar Cup Playoffs.”
Always in the thick of the action!
The driver, identified as Richmond resident and trained EMT Tony Michaels, is believed to have no media experience besides occasionally calling in to a local sports radio station.
“At NBC, we believe that we can turn anybody into an on-camera expert”, the spokesman said.  “We’ve taken Ato Bolden, a man with no motorsports experience at all, and made him ‘the voice of the novice fan’.  And in Rutledge Wood, a man who we believe had never spoken to another human being before moving into broadcasting, we have made him into ‘the voice of the slightly inebriated moron’, so we have experience doing this.”
Nascar executives were said to have been livid with the news, although quickly piping down when realizing that by angering their television overlords, they might incur their wrath.  Drivers, however, were not nearly as restrained.
“So they want to hire the guy who almost ruined my season…more-so?”, driver Matt Kenseth said online in a multi-tweet thread.  “I guess I won’t be looking towards NBC to work next year—not that I’d need to, since I’m sure those job offers will start rolling in any second now.”
It remains to be seen how Michaels, the EMT, will be integrated into the broadcasts, although some have suggested that he could drive his ambulance onto the racing surface between stages in order to report on track conditions.