Tuesday, May 1, 2018

The Real Reasons Why Jimmie Johnson Wrecked a Third of the Field

—He knew the race was boring till then—he was just trying to help us out, people.

—He could’ve won, but better to have a storyline going into Dover.

—Couldn’t wait to hear how Jeff Gordon would defend him in the booth.


—Wanted to show William Byron that if you take someone’s parking space, there’s a price to pay.

—His mind was occupied trying to come up with a nickname for Chase Elliott*.

—He was so good so quick, he wanted to see what a rookie mistake felt like.

—Chad said something in a mean tone.

—Was off his game since his 5 o’clock shadow was more like 5:15 all weekend.

*—he’s decided on “Chase Naughton Jr.”