Friday, January 23, 2015

Nascar Fans Prepare for Onslaught of Jeff Gordon Retirement Coverage

"This is the greatest day of my life", a quote we'll probably hear hundreds of times in 2015
After digesting the somewhat surprising news that Jeff Gordon will be retiring from full-time Cup competition after the 2015 season, Nascar fans have turned their attention towards preparing for the coming deluge of Jeff Gordon coverage.
Everyone associated with
Jeff will be interviewed...
except her
“I’m sure we’ll hear it shoehorned into 24 Hours of Daytona coverage”, said local fan Scott Wilson.  “And before the Daytona 500, someone will try and track down Nelly and find out why he name-checked Jeff in his song.  I’m sure everyone will be seeing rainbows and flames in their sleep by the time the Chase rolls around.”
“I remember Richard Petty’s Fan Appreciation Tour, but that was well before internet puff-pieces, Twitter comments from people who haven’t seen Jeff in decades, and multiple cable channels to do multiple stories on the original Rainbow Warriors”, said longtime fan Steve Gallagher.  “Oh, and just wait till NBC takes over coverage this year—how many times do you think they’ll ask Jeff Burton about that stupid fight they had a few years ago?”
Gordon, the most-influential (and arguably most-successful) driver in his prime, has remained competitive in his later years, meaning that every time he even sniffs the lead, announcers will be gushing about trying to win “just one more race.”
“I’ve been a big Jeff Gordon fan for years, but I’m already getting myself ready for when Mike Joy asks DW & Larry Mac ‘…what this win would mean for Jeff’ 20 laps into a race”, said Gordon supporter Meg Smith.  “I’ve already cleared space in my den for all 38 diets cars that are sure to come out, and I’m prepared to get a dozen emails a day about getting limited-edition hats.”
Gordon, for his part, has given no hint what his plans are post-retirement.
“I plan to spend more time with my family, that’s a given”, Gordon said at his retirement press conference, “but I plan to stay involved with racing as well.  Specifically, I know I’ll have to block-off time every week to do interviews for retrospectives put out by Nascar Films, and deal with the daily questions of if I’m going to run the Indy 500 now.

“By the way, no I’m not.”