Darlington Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. 13th Place AND NFL Preview

And now, here’s Uncle Max’s 2024 NFL Preview!

(*—Playoff team, **—First round bye)

NFC EAST: **Dallas, *Philadephia, Washington, New York

NFC NORTH: *Green Bay, *Detroit, Minnesota, Chicago

NFC SOUTH: *Tampa Bay, New Orleans, Carolina, Atlanta

NFC WEST: *San Francisco, *Seattle, Arizona, Los Angeles

AFC EAST: **Buffalo, *Miami, *New York, New England

AFC NORTH: **Baltimore, Cleveland, Cincinatti, Pittsburgh

AFC SOUTH: *Texans, Tennessee, Indianapolis, Jacksonville

AFC WEST:  *Kansas City, *Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Denver

NFC Championship Game: Philadelphia 38-Dallas 20

AFC Championship Game: Baltimore 24-Kansas City-21 (OT)

Super Bowl: Baltimore 31-Philadelphia 24

TRUCK SERIES (5 wins) off

Friday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES (4 wins) Sport Clips/VFW 200: COLE CUSTER—The future (of a mid-level Cup satellite team) is now.

Sunday Evening CUP SERIES SOUTHERN 500: 13th Place (2 win) Picks ZANE SMITH.  FAVORITE (2 wins): MARTIN TRUEX JR.—might as well lock himself in. NEXT FAVORITE: BUBBA WALLACE—might as well lock/win his way in.  DARK HORSE: ERIK JONES—might as well win his way in.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

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Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

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A MOXOC Media production

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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2024 Donruss Cards, Pack 3 of 24

PACK 3: 50th win, a reason to grin, and a lame nickname din

FIRST LOOK: “50th Win a Special One” is a pretty obvious headline, up there with “Playtime is Fun” and “Building Code Under Fire”.

TO THE BACK: Yeah, having an Earnhardt in the field is good because…uh, well I can’t really figure out why, other than to see Earnhardt fans do mental gymnastics to explain why Jeffrey isn’t trading on his name.

SAY WHAT?: “I wish I’d picked a better nickname than ‘Heim Time’”.

RATING: 5 sets of sticker tires out of 10

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

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Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

Does this track have lights?

A MOXOC Media production

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NASCAR ROTY RANKINGS 2005: Ranking the Rookie of the Year Classes Through the Years

Kyle Busch

Join me as we take a look at every NASCAR Cup Rookie of the Year class from 1972 (the start of the modern era) through 2021, going from the worst to the first in terms of overall careers of each year’s rookie class.

2005

Winner: Kyle Busch (Hendrick).  Runners Up: Travis Kvapil (Penske), Mike Garvey (ZeroFour/Peak), Stanton Barrett (Furniture Row).  Aborted Attempts: none

How their careers turned out: This is a VERY top-heavy class—Kyle Busch, love him or hate him, has had one of the greatest careers of the past two decades.  Travis Kvapil did little to nothing in Cup, while Mike Garvey did nothing to less in Cup.  On the plus side, Stanton Barrett got an awesome write up in Sports Illustrated.

“Fun” “Fact” about the winner: Kyle Busch wound up at Hendrick Motorsports after he was barred from racing Trucks under the age of 18 for Roush Racing.  Oh what could have been (well, he’d have left Roush anyways).

Ranking: #12 out of 50

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

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Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

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A MOXOC Media production

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CORRECTION: Ty Gibbs Running Raygun Paint Scheme Tonight (parody)

This is a parody

In a press release issued early this morning, Joe Gibbs Racing (JGR) corrected a recent announcement that driver Ty Gibbs would be running a special paint scheme promoting Reagan The Movie tonight.  Instead, he will be running a special paint scheme promoting Raygun, the Australian breakdancer.

“We apologize profusely for the miscommunication”, said JGR public relations manager Matt Simon in the press release.  “We will not be running any Ronald Reagan tribute tonight.  Instead, we will be honoring breakdancer, lecturer, and researcher Rachael ‘Raygun’ Gunn, whose performance at the recent Olympics fascinated us all.”

The paint scheme (technically a wrap) will feature Raygun in her signature “kangaroo pose” on the hood, with the car in the Australian colors of green and gold.

“Raygun taught us all what you can do when you qualify for a sport in a country where nobody really cares about it”, said driver Ty Gibbs.  “So let this be a lesson to all of you out there—as Americans, we can form our own Netball team and wind up with a free overseas vacation in 2032.

“Also, I apologize for the confusion about the scheduled paint scheme for tonight”, Gibbs continued.  “Mistakes were made.”

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

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A MOXOC Media production

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Daytona/Milwaukee Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. 13th Place

NOTE: Uncle Max’s annual NFL preview is coming next week!

It’s that time of the year again—time for fantasy football drafts!  Just some quick suggestions from a fantasy football draft veteran of two decades:

—Go in this order of positional importance: QB, WR, RB, TE, DEF, K.  If you’re doing IDPs, seriously consider getting a life.

—With the exception of two-quarterback leagues, two are better than one.  Don’t be afraid to trade a very good QB for two good wideouts and/or a promise to housesit your place if you have a late-fall vacation.

—Asking every few days before the draft if it’s a “snake’” draft is a good way to guarantee yourself the least-comfortable chair there.

—Don’t outsmart yourself—spend five minutes the morning of the draft deciding what you want to do instead of five days deciding between a rookie blocking tight-end or a veteran H-back.

—Align your bye-weeks accordingly OR have them all on one week to forfeit that matchup, similar to “shooting the moon” in hearts.

—When in doubt, load up on wide receivers, have two starting quarterbacks on your roster, and offer to tip the delivery guy.

Sunday Afternoon TRUCK SERIES (5 wins) LiUNA 175: TY MAJESKI—will FS1 even attempt to make their announcers appear like they’re at the track?

Friday Night XFINITY SERIES (4 wins) Wawa 250: JESSE LOVE—we’ve all kinda just forgotten about him, haven’t we?

Saturday Night CUP SERIES Coke Zero Sugar 400: 13th Place (2 win) Picks RICKY STENHOUSE JR.  FAVORITE (2 wins): TYLER REDDICK—getting on a run going into the playoffs. NEXT FAVORITE: AUSTIN CINDRIC—one of the “good” Austins.  DARK HORSE: RYAN PREECE—hopefully on all four wheels the entire race.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

Does this track have lights?

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2024 Donruss Cards, Pack 2 of 24

PACK 2: A rookie card, it’s easy but hard, and Coca-Cola’s bard

FIRST LOOK: The great number of variants in any one set, combined with having cards for drivers in developmental series, makes “rookie cards” kind of hard to determine.  But hey—if Donruss says its a Rated Rookie card, that’s good enough for me.

TO THE BACK: As a wise man once said, “You gotta be around at the end to win”.  Follow me for more pointless aphorisms.

SAY WHAT?: “Oh how I love my Coke, I’d drink it even if I was broke, my love you cannot understand, that’s why it’s always in my hand.”

RATING: 4 green flags out of 10.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

Does this track have lights?

A MOXOC Media production

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NASCAR ROTY RANKINGS 2004: Ranking the Rookie of the Year Classes Through the Years

Join me as we take a look at every NASCAR Cup Rookie of the Year class from 1972 (the start of the modern era) through 2021, going from the worst to the first in terms of overall careers of each year’s rookie class.

2004

Kasey Kahne's rookie car

Winner: Kasey Kahne (Evernham).  Runners Up: Brendan Gaughan (Penske), REDACTED (Hendrick), Scott Wimmer (Bill Davis), Scott Riggs (MBV), Johnny Sauter (RCR).  Aborted Attempts: none

How their careers turned out: This class is a case of what could have been.  What if Kasey Kahne’s Evernham team hadn’t gone down the tubes with George Gillett?  What if Brendan Gaughan had got another year with Penske?  What if REDACTED had stayed with Hendrick rather than going to Red Bull?  What if Johnny Sauter hadn’t pissed off Kevin Harvick?  What if Scott Riggs had gotten a shot in legitimately top-flight equipment?  What if Scott Wimmer hadn’t stayed with Bill Davis for what felt like a decade?

“Fun” “Fact” about the winner: Kasey Kahne loves milk, but only from certain sources.

Ranking: #19 out of 50

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

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A MOXOC Media production

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Nascar Considering Adding Talent Contest to Playoffs

This is a parody

After last weekend showed the lengths some drivers will go to just to make the playoffs, Nascar has begun considering tweaks to its playoff eligibility rules.  Amongst those being considered are a minimum points position, an F1-style penalty points system, and a talent contest held the night of the regular season finale.

“We’re looking at everything we can to deliver an exciting season to our fans”, said Nascar spokesman Peter Gately.  “So far, our consideration is focused on allowing fifteen drivers in based on wins and/or points, and a sixteenth driver based on winning the talent show after the last regular season race.  That way instead of ramming your car into other competitors, you can just wait to show everyone your singing ability.”

The competition, which would be held immediately after the conclusion of the 26th points race of the year, would feature all drivers not currently in the playoffs.

“We would have four expert judges, plus the fans at the track acting as the ‘fifth judge’”, said George Gallagher, Nascar’s Director of Special Projects.  “After a grueling 400-to-500 mile race, which driver is willing to wow the judges with a beautiful dance routine?  Or will someone step completely out of their comfort zone by performing acrobatics?  The possibilities are limitless.”

Reactions to the proposal have been mixed.

“That’s literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard”, said one team owner anonymously.  “Next they’ll want our pit crews singing barbershop quartet.”

“Wait, seriously?”, said a bewildered race fan.  “Jeez, they REALLY don’t want a full season championship, do they?”

“Honestly, I don’t want to discount it right away”, said an unidentified driver.  “I mean, its nice to know that if our team can’t perform, I can always fall back on my magic act from high school.”

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

Does this track have lights?

A MOXOC Media production

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Michigan Race Picks: Uncle Max vs. 13th Place

Sooo, apparently you can just plow over your competitors to win, huh?  I had no idea that dive-bombing two drivers was legal in Nascar.  What else is legal?  Dropping oil slicks on the track?  Giant nets to catch your competitors?  A huge magnet to catch up to the leaders?

If Nascar wants to be taken care of by the gambling community, there needs to be enforcement of the rules against rough driving.  Either that, or just allow it to be a freaking demolition derby.  If not, it’ll stay back there with sports like rugby and competitive chess in terms of takes at the window.

TRUCK SERIES (5 wins) off

Saturday Afternoon XFINITY SERIES (4 wins) Cabo Wabo 250: COLE CUSTER—preparing to go out of the Xfinity Series on a high note to focus on finishing 29th again in Cup races.

Sunday CUP SERIES FireKeepers 400: 13th Place (2 win) Picks WILLIAM BYRON.  FAVORITE (1 win): TYLER REDDICK—would someone PLEASE think of the children?!?  NEXT FAVORITE: RYAN BLANEY—in the heart of Menards country (banjo jingle intensifies).  DARK HORSE: BRAD KESELOWSKI—home track win means lots of proper name usage in the post-race interview. 

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

Does this track have lights?

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com

Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2024 Donruss Cards, Pack 1 of 24

PACK 1: A solid start, a first go-kart, and a fateful dart

FIRST LOOK: Here we see the basic design of this set.  I like the border and the small bit of silver foil, but this card also shows the reliance on retired drivers. Imagine opening a 2024 baseball pack and getting a card for Mo Vaughn?

TO THE BACK: “Pure love”, whether he’s winning a karting race or finishing 24th for Kaulig Racing.

SAY WHAT?: “I want to throw a dart to see where I wind up next season, but all the dart boards just say ‘Part Time Xfinity Ride’”.

RATING: 2 pre-race grid walks out of 10 

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

www.facebook.com/spaderacing

www.twitter.com/spaderacing

Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

Buy the book 100 Stock Car Racing What Ifs Unauthorized

Does this track have lights?

A MOXOC Media production

www.moxoc.com