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Christopher Bell Announces New Sponsor: Chase-something



Early this morning Joe Gibbs Racing driver Christopher Bell announced a new sponsor would be joining the team in the 2025 season: Chase-something or other.

“As I announced on Friday, Chase will be joining the JGR team in 2025”, Bell announced while looking haggard and sleep-deprived.  “Oh, I’m sure some of you thought that I meant (Stewart-Haas Racing driver) Chase Briscoe, but what I actually meant was Chase-whatever, a new company that’s just getting started and can’t wait to become a sponsor in the Cup Series.

Though there was little evidence of the company’s existence, Bell offered proof of its veracity.

“See? See? I have a signed contract with Coach (Joe Gibbs) right here”, Briscoe said, holding up what appeared to be a one-page hand-written agreement.  “It says right here—Chase-so on and so forth will sponsor a JGR Cup car for at least two races in 2025, thus absolving Mr. Bell from any previous contract violations.  Uh, scratch that last part.”

Bell would not reveal what the company does, produces, or provides to consumers or businesses, although he showed the company’s incorporation forms.

“They were just started yesterday, isn’t that something?” Bell said.  “And they were incorporated right here in New Hampshire—that’s a pretty big coincidence too, don’t you think?  I just hope that Chase-blah blah blah is as happy with Joe Gibbs Racing as I am, now that my contract is fully iron-clad against any statements that anyone may make.”

Nobody at Chase-et cetera could be reached for comment, although the lone officer listed on the incorporation forms, a “Bistopher Chell”, had yet to return their calls.


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