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December 3rd, 2023: All-Star Race to be Run “Backwards” at Daytona



In a move that came as a shock to virtually everyone in the sport, Nascar announced today that the 2023 NasCrypto All-Star Race will be held at Daytona International Speedway—where it will be run in a clockwise direction.

“This is decision 70+ years in the making”, said Nascar spokesperson Claire Miller.  “Ever since Nascar began in 1948, every oval race has been held with left-hand turns. Well, this year drivers will ‘go fast, turn right’ in this special non-points event.”

The race will be 100 laps long, broken into four identical 25-lap segments.  Any driver to win the “backwards” race will get 100,000 NasCrypto, while if a driver sweeps all four that number will be doubled, equaling approximately $40,000 USD.

“This will definitely be a challenge for all of us”, said two-time Nascar Cup Champion Kyle Larson.  “Most of us only turn right at the dozen or so road course races.  But we’ll be ‘running the wrong way’ in this fun non-points event.  It’ll be like a Polish Victory Lap every lap—and hey, Alan Kulwicki said it, so don’t @ me.”

Standard rules will be in place, allowing all race winners from 2023 and the first twelve races of 2024 to qualify, in addition to the winner of the NasCrypto Open qualifying race.  Furthermore, the “fan vote” will be replaced by the leader in rookie points, currently Hailie Deegan.

“This will be a great way to excite our fanbase”, Miller said, “and there’s no better place to do this than Daytona.  Heck, if IndyCar can have four races a year at IMS, why can’t we?”


IN OTHER NEWS: Bubba Wallace Welcomes New Sponsors Bubba Burgers, B-Dubs, Hubba Bubba, and Mediocre Manufacturing Corp.

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