This is a parody
Nascar is quickly speeding towards its annual championship race at Phoenix. With eight drivers currently eligible to win it all, we asked around to six absolutely insufferable, stereotypical so-called “fans” to see who their picks were.
“Nascar? Is that still a thing? Oh, that’s cute. I don’t like manufactured racing with Billy Bob and Joe Jack and Chasey Racey—I’ll stick with F1 thank you very much.” —Steve Jacobs, insufferable open-wheel fan who prefers series where two passes in a race is considered a barn-burner
“Nascar died with Dale Earnhardt died. It ain’t been the same since, and you know it. But with how well he’s run lately I’d have to go with Kyle Larson.” —Brandon McKenzie, doom-and-gloom oldster who has vowed to stop watching Nascar 15 times before
“It’s fixed anyways—you know they’ll find a way to have Bubba Wallace win the championship.” —James Webster, whose constant rants about the world changing has left his grandchildren to screen his calls
“It’s fixed anyways—you know they’ll find a way to have a Toyota win the championship.” —Kevin Diehl, apparently unaware that Toyota is currently third in the manufacturers’ championship standings
“Joey Logano, I guess. Now, let me spend the next half-hour haranguing you about 1996.” —Reggie Cofield, every single remaining IndyCar fan between the ages of 35-55 (all eight of them!)
“(grimaces, makes annoyed face, rolls eyes, walks away without comment)” —Kyle Busch, two-time Nascar Cup Series champion.
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A MOXOC Media production