This is a parody
Yesterday saw SS Greenlight Racing’s 14 car co-sponsored by “Real American Beer”—a new beer developed and promoted by former pro wrestling star Hulk Hogan. After the race, Hogan seemed to be happy with the experience, although seeking assurances before going any further with the sponsorship.
“It was a great race, brother”, said Hogan (real name Terry Bollea) yesterday evening. “But you have to look at where your money is going, brother, and you have to have some sort of guarantee that things are going the way you need them to. I mean, what kind of assurance do I have, brother, than the Hulk Hogan name is being used the right way?”
Hogan continued, “that’s why I’m asking for creative control, brother, before I sign on for any more races. I need to make sure that if there’s a job that must be done, it isn’t me doing it, brother.”
Upon being informed that, despite what yahoos claim online, Nascar is not a predetermined exhibition, Hogan seemed unfazed.
“That doesn’t matter, brother—what matters is giving the fans what they want”, Hogan explained. “And what the fans want, brother, is more Hulk Hogan—maybe with some Brian Knobbs and Jimmy Hart thrown in. And if a fan comes to a race and doesn’t see the Hulk Hogan sponsored car at least in the top-ten, brother, whatchagonnado when they turn the channel on you—by which I mean me, brother.”
Hogan has not ruled out moving his sponsorship to another series if necessary.
“We’ve had some talks so far, brother, but that’s all they are—talks”, Hogan cautioned. “But I’m not against moving Real American Beer to IndyCar and forming a New World Organization of racing, brother.”
Driver Mason Massey was unavailable for comment, although former meat salesman Eric Bischoff was willing to spend the next two hours defending Hogan’s business acumen.
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