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BREAKING NEWS: Martin Truex Jr. Announces Plans for 2025


This is a work of parody

After months of speculation former Nascar Cup champion Martin Truex Jr. has announced his long-awaited plans for 2025.

“Well, I have a cousin who said they’re planning a wedding to her boyfriend for January, so that’ll take up a long weekend, since they’re up in (New) Jersey”, Truex told a Spade Racing reporter in an exclusive pre-race interview this morning.  “They got engaged on Valentine’s Day, so I’ll have plenty of time to find a gift for them.”

Truex has frequently played it coy when it came to any of his future plans, but was willing to come clean with his goals for beyond this season.

“I do Thanksgiving at my place every odd-numbered year, so that’ll be happening in 2025”, Truex said.  “I usually get something catered, but I might see if I can do a turkey in the oven by then—people seem to like the homemade touch.”

The popular driver said that his post-2024 plans will be heavily influenced by financial and competitive factors.

“I have a CD that I took out that’ll come due around May of 2025, so I’ll have to decide what to do with that money”, Truex said.  “Also, I usually do a March Madness pool with some buddies from my hometown, but I lose every damn year.  Why keep doing it if I never win?  I dunno—maybe if I actually finish in the top five this year I’ll keep paying in.”

Regardless, Truex seemed to appreciate the questions about his plans beyond the end of the 2024 season.

“Hey, thanks for checking in with me”, Truex told our reporter as he got up to leave for the drivers’ meeting.  “And that’s for not asking me about retirement—I can’t stand when places try to retread their tires, its so cheap.”



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