Spade Racing: December 2023

Musically Declined: Nascar Runnin’ Wide Open—Junk Cars

In 1995 Nascar was starting to get hot. Jeff Gordon was on his way to his first Cup championship, TV ratings were on the rise, and for the first time ever, stock car racing was somewhat cool. So what better way to celebrate the sport’s success than with an album of bland middle-of-the-road country music?

The Song: Junk Cars

The Star: Ricky Van Shelton

The Clip: https://youtu.be/ZvYtueZ5-18?si=IH3dAaehOjMhrohX

The Review: So in an album dedicated to Nascar, the highest-level of stock car racing, where the best fabricators, mechanics and manufacturers come together to produce the best vehicles in the country for competition, we get a song about “Junk Cars”. Oh kaaaaay…

The Verdict: Pretty bad, and stinks of “I can’t write you a new song, but here’s a B-side I have lying around.”

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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2023 Donruss Cards, Pack 19 of 24

Pack 19: A strange smile, an adaptable style, and a stranger smile

FIRST LOOK: Joey Gase has done a lot with a little in his career. No idea why he looks like he’s eating his upper lip here.

TO THE BACK: Kyle Larson has shown that he can win almost anywhere—superspeedways, short tracks, road courses and more. No wonder Rick Hendrick convinced Rick Hendrick to sponsor him.

SAY WHAT: “I’M SO FREAKING HAPPY TO BE HERE!!!”

RATING: 6 splitters out of 10

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Musically Declined: Nascar Runnin’ Wide Open—You Could Be A Nascar Fan If…

in 1995 Nascar was starting to get hot. Jeff Gordon was on his way to his first Cup championship, TV ratings were on the rise, and for the first time ever, stock car racing was somewhat cool. So what better way to celebrate the sport’s success than with an album of bland middle-of-the-road country music?

The “Song”: You Could Be A Nascar Fan If…

The Star: Jeff Foxworthy

The Clip: https://youtu.be/fEqlHL7doXo?si=jL4Y3VJt5Fgerlbw

The Review: Jeff Foxworthy was one of my first favorite comedians, and heck—this is funny. It just goes to show you that sometimes you don’t need music to express yourself, just authentic humor.

The Verdict: Not a song, but a great track.

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Track “Facts”: LA Coliseum

Nascar races on all sorts of tracks, from short to long, oval to road course, concrete to asphalt. Here’s a weekly look at all the tracks of Nascar’s National Touring Series.

LOS ANGELES MEMORIAL COLISEUM

0.25 mile temporary asphalt short track

Debuted 2022

Lights? Yes

Series: Cup

Nicknames: The Grand Old Lady, The Good Gimmick

THREE FUN FACTS:

1. The pre-season non-points Clash went from meaningless to meaningful after being relocated from Daytona to the LA Coliseum in 2022. Sure it lost its “pole winners only” exclusivity, but so what?

2. The Coliseum features a temporary 1/4-mile asphalt “bull ring”-style track, with racing conducted in heats followed by a main event. Yes, this DOES sound a lot like a format a local short-track would use, so of course people still whined about it because…reasons?

3. Yeah the Clash at the Coliseum is cool, but I’m still waiting for a race to held in a hockey arena!

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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2023 Donruss Cards, Pack 18 of 24

Pack 18: LU, Hailey 2, and something to do

FIRST LOOK: The Liberty University sponsorship deal is still a pretty weird one. It’s like an academically-minded form of legal money laundering.

TO THE BACK: So how long till Hailey Deegan’s creepy fans move on to Toni? A year?

SAY WHAT: “Time to shoot another stilted Menards water heater commercial with the boss.”

RATING: 7 hot laps out of 10

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Track “Facts”: Indy Road Course

Nascar races on sorts of tracks, from short to long, oval to road course, concrete to asphalt. Here’s a bi-weekly look at all the tracks of Nascar’s National Touring Series.

INDIANAPOLIS MOTOR SPEEDWAY ROAD COURSE

2.439 mile asphalt oval/road course hybrid

Debuted 2021 (road course built in 2000)

Lights? Not yet

Series: Cup, Xfinity

Nicknames: The Brickyard, The Bad Fit

THREE FUN FACTS:

1. While the Indianapolis Motor Speedway opened in 1909, and Nascar has raced at the Brickyard since 1994, the road course has only been used for Nascar since 2021. This has annoyed some fans, pundits, and even drivers for removing a “crown jewel” event, the Brickyard 400, although it seemed to really just be the crown jewel of boring racing, along with Pocono and any road course before double-file restarts were instituted.

2. The road course was built in 2000 to lure Formula 1 to the track, returning “World Championship” status to the Brickyard for the first time since 1960, the last of an eleven year period that the Indianapolis 500 was included on the Grand Prix calendar. Since most F1 regulars skipped the Indy 500, that means that IMS was ruining Formula 1 WELL before 2005.

3. AJ Allmendinger and Kurt Busch are currently the only two drivers to have raced in the Indy 500, Brickyard 400, and Verizon 200. So I guess we need to get Juan Pablo Montoya a one-off ASAP.

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Musically Declined: Nascar Runnin’ Wide Open—Fuel to the Fire

The Song: Fuel to the Fire

The Star: Ken Mellons

The Clip: https://youtu.be/m6IAyxsGajE?si=FlZXBl71PEdIzECJ

The Review: Ugh—yet another “gee you’re hot” song from a male country music singer. I prefer to think of these songs as literal stories—I mean, a song about a fire quickly becoming uncontrollable is far more interesting than one about a pretty girl.

The Verdict: Pretty bad—and has nothing to do with Nascar.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2023 Donruss Cards, Pack 17 of 24

Pack 17: DW’s day, Brad K, and MTJ

FIRST LOOK: Here we see Darrell Waltrip in his normal habitat—happy to have screwed over Junior Johnson out of his Chevy deal.

TO THE BACK: A nice recap of Brad Keselowski joining the former Roush Fenway Racing, formerly Roush Racing, formerly That Team with Ted Musgrave.

SAY WHAT: “Talk to the hand—sorry, I’m very corny.”

RATING: 5 bonus points out of 10

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Track “Facts”: Bristol Dirt

Nascar races on all sorts of tracks, from short to long, oval to road course, concrete to asphalt. Here’s a weekly look at all the tracks of Nascar’s National Touring Series.

BRISTOL MOTOR SPEEDWAY DIRT TRACK

0.533 mile temporary dirt track

Debuted 2021

Lights? Yes

Series: Cup, Trucks

Nicknames: The Bullring, Nascar’s Easter Egg

THREE FUN FACTS:

1. Bristol’s move to a dirt surface for its spring race was an attempt to inject the Cup and Truck Series with more variety. The first dirt weekend had much excitement, but was marred by a wet surface that reduced driver visibility. Kind of like when you go to a new restaurant for some good food but wind up waiting two hours for your entree.

2. The 2022 edition of the race was held on Easter Sunday, thus breaking up what has historically been the dullest day of the year for me.

3. Bristol’s spring race (held on a temporary dirt surface since 2021) features one of the longest-running sponsorship partnerships in the sport, via supermarket chain Food City. Yes, its a regional grocery store, and sadly not a food-themed amusement park.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

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Musically Declined: Nascar Runnin’ Wide Open—The Wall

The Song: The Wall

The Star: Collin Raye

The Clip: https://youtu.be/bGtLHJ_QRJQ?si=gu9pc2EDE1h3lMWG

The Review: One of the greatest concept albums ever released, Pink Floyd’s magnum opus may have split the band, but was what brought prog-rock to the fore—oh, wait, this isn’t Pink Floyd’s The Wall. It’s not the music store The Wall. It’s not even The Wall from WCW. Its just some sappy romance song.

The Verdict: Dull, bland, and forgettable—more of a sedative than a song.

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

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Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

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A MOXOC Media production

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Spade Racing Opens a Box of 2023 Donruss Cards, Pack 16 of 24

Pack 16: Chase’s car, a rising star, and a driver by far

FIRST LOOK: Here’s a look at one of the “car-centric” base set cards this year. It’s nice, although you could have an entire second set with all the various sponsors and special schemes nowadays. Now get off my lawn.

TO THE BACK: Its nice to see McDriver get some attention as a possible replacement for Aric Almirola after years as a journeyman, proving you can never be too old to shine. Now get off his lawn.

SAY WHAT: “I’m a driver—you’ll never see me as a gimmicky announcer telling people to get off my lawn when they wreck my little brother.”

RATING: 5 patches of infield grass out of 10

www.spaderacing.com updated four times weekly

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Visit the store https://www.cafepress.com/spaderacing

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A MOXOC Media production

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