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SPAD3 RACING DISAPPEARS; RETURNS CHARTER


The successful yet tumultuous 2022 season of Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing, NASCAR Cup’s newest team, has abruptly come to an end, with the team disappearing completely from its Northern Virginia headquarters overnight.

“Yesterday I was here for a competition meeting, and today—POOF, its gone”, said crew chief Mike Henshaw.  “Everything—the six-post shaker, the tires, the torture room—all gone in a matter of hours.”

Henshaw stood outside the now-vacated building of the apparently now out of business race team, as NASCAR confirmed that the team’s Cup Series Charter was returned to the sanctioning body.

“Its a little strange that a team would just return one of these Charters, but I guess there were plans bigger than money for them”, said NASCAR spokesman Paul Roselle.  “We’ll be glad to auction off this valuable Charter to the highest bidder and return a portion of the proceeds to the SPAD3 Racing team, assuming they can be found.”

Nobody in the NASCAR community was able to give an explanation for the team’s actions—several rival team members said they knew little about the organization, other than their stealth-like behaviors and lack of fingerprints.  Other than the team’s statistics, it appears little remains from the group’s year-long experience in NASCAR.

“I’ll never be able to forget what happened behind those doors”, Henshaw said, gesturing to the dark building where a “FOR RENT” sign was being posted.  “The horrible experiments, the bizarre stories, the memory wipes they tried on me.  Was it worth it to the team just to do better than their forebears, 52 Pickup Racing?  We may never know."