NASCAR Cup’s newest team took a major step forward today, unveiling its visual identity at its brand-new race shop located in Northern Virginia.
“Special Protective Advance Defense Department Detachment (SPAD3) Racing is primed for success in 2022”, team principal Kent Simms said in the gleaming new shop, formerly housing an intelligence gathering annex of the CIA. “We plan to see the number 86 car leading quite a few races, and with our resources we don’t see race wins as out of the question.”
Simms—speaking for team owner Dave Graham, who was said to be on assignment in Russia—said choosing to set up the team far from NASCAR’s base in North Carolina was not one they took lightly.
“We have a lot of innovative ideas that we want to keep a secret from the competition—believe you me, we’re going to be surprising people out there next season. Besides, this building was available super-cheap from one of our financial backers, and the old interrogation room makes a great paint booth.”
Simms said that the team’s driver will be announced in the near future.
“We’ve narrowed it down to a few different types, but we think we’ll be able to announce our driver in a matter of weeks”, Simms said. “Whoever it is, they’ll definitely be programmed to ’86’ the competition.”