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Kyle Busch Reveals Evil Plan to Destroy Truck Series


In Victory Lane after another dominating win in the Nascar Truck Series, Kyle Busch finally revealed his reason for constantly competing in the “minor league” series.  In a stunningly candid interview, the sixty-time race winner admitted that it is part of a long-term master plan to destroy the series for not allowing him to race there until he was 18 years old.

Just ignore the Bud decal

“Oh, this all goes back to California (Speedway) in 2001”, Busch said, rubbing his hands together sinisterly.  “Nascar didn’t let me race because I was too young.  Well, I made a promise to myself that day that, if I ever had the ability to do so, I would work my hardest to destroy the Truck Series from the inside out.”

Busch, who snickered nefariously between his statements, was referring to when he was disallowed from further competition in the Truck Series until he was of legal adult age, due to prevalent tobacco sponsorship and the recent “Master Settlement”.  The age minimum was put into effect shortly afterwards, though it has since been partially rescinded.

“When they let young kids run again, that just made me even angrier”, Busch said, his voice occasionally crackling with rage.  “Nascar can put any restriction they want in my way—I won’t rest until I have ruined this series with my domination.  And there’s NOTHING else they can do to stop me!”

Despite limited appearances for his self-owned Kyle Busch Motorsports team, Busch has frequently put on shows like on Saturday, where he leads the majority of the race, then wins, with his teammates filling out numerous spots in the top-ten.

“By the time I’m finished, this series will be little more than charred ruins.  Nascar picked the wrong teenager to mess with twenty years ago.  The Truck Series is doomed.  Doomed!  DOOMED!!!”, Busch shouted, then punctuated with an evil laugh.

When pressed for reasons WHY he wanted to destroy a national touring series, Busch reminded the assembled media “hey, did you SEE how back the American Speed Association was back then?”