In a show of resilience both inspiring and terrifying, Nascar has shown itself to be an unkillable, immortal entity after surviving what “fans” have dubbed “The Death of Nascar” over a hundred times.
“I cannot be killed, only wounded. I cannot be ended, only paused. I cannot perish, I can only survive.”, Nascar said in a loud, booming voice from his ancestral home in Daytona Beach, Florida. “That which does not kill me only makes me stronger—although, to be fair, it might result in some short-term losses.”
Observers of the sport have repeatedly cited numerous events and decisions as the sport’s death knell, despite having been proven time and again that the stock car sanctioning body is as unstoppable as the four ancient elements. A recent week filled with controversy, recriminations by longtime supporters, and questions about the organization’s decision making have failed yet again to destroy the sport.
“I have survived the deaths of numerous drivers. I have survived the implementation of The Chase. I have survived the career of Buckshot Jones. I can—and WILL—survive this”, Nascar said confidently. However, the entity had strong words for those who claim that the recent banning of the Confederate flag will finally “kill” the sport.
“You cannot destroy me!”, Nascar said defiantly. “You’ll either come crawling back or wither away like all those who have doubted me. I’ve outlasted all other challengers in my seventy-plus years. Title sponsors have come and gone. Manufacturers, drivers, super teams—all have cycled in and out while I have remained. To doubt me is to doubt the world around you.”
The sport’s inability to perish is expected to be questioned yet again the next time Nascar makes a decision that you don’t agree with.