Everything Else Ryan Newman Doesn’t Believe In

Earlier this week Ryan Newman “honored” the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing by repeating that he doesn’t believe that it happened.  While many were quick to condemn Newman’s apparent ignorance, the ironically-nicknamed “Rocketman” was willing to share with Spade Racing a list of other widely-held beliefs that he doesn’t subscribe to:

—That his alma mater Purdue University was founded by Indiana John Purdue.  Newman claims that his school—ironically one with numerous ties to the space program—was started by “one of those chicken guys from Maryland”.

—That he had some sort of hair transplant.  Despite obvious visual evidence that Flyin’ Ryan had something done to reverse his Phil Collins-like hairline, he claims he “…just woke up one morning and it had magically grown back.”

—That he has had the lesser career compared to his 2002 Rookie of the Year competitor Jimmie Johnson.  “Mr. Friday” instead says that his ROTY award, coupled with his nearly winning a Cup championship despite not winning a race that year, puts him well ahead of seven Cup championships.

—That driving for four major teams, each of somewhat declining renown, is evidence of a possible personality issue.  “The Space Case from South Bend” instead uses his insensitive comments towards Kurt Busch and Tony Stewart as evidence of his churlish attitude towards others.

—That Richard Childress Racing is a multi-car team that focuses on drivers other than Austin Dillon.  OK, to be fair, “Danica’s Ex-Boyfriend’s Teammate” does have something there.