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The Gear Box

Second of Three Articles Today!--CLICK HERE for today's F1 post-race

(Scene: Harding Steinbrenner Racing headquarters a few weeks ago)

“Y-you wanted to see me, Mr. Steinbrenner?”

“Yes yes, come in George, come in.  Costanza, I’m happy with the progress you’ve made on our race team.”

“Thank you, Mr. Steinbrenner, but it was really the crew—“

“Now, now, Costanza, don’t sell yourself short—you’ve given those boys a heck of a pastry tray before each race.”

“Thank you, but really I think I’d do better back in New York—“

“That’s why I’m bumping you up to the race day crew—from now on you’ll be in charge of the gear boxes, Costanza, they’re YOUR respon-sa-bil-i-ty.”

“Wow, I’m-I’m flattered, sir, but Mr. Steinbrenner, I don’t really know much about cars—“

“George, let me tell you something, you don’t get to where I got without knowing a few things about people.  I started this company with nothing more than my parents’ connections, millions of dollars, and a dream.  I knew that if I put Colton in that car he’d set the world on fire, even if he looked kinda silly with that cowboy hat on.”

“Yeah, the hat, but Mr. Steinbrenner, don’t you think a mechanic would do better—“

“Costanza, I want you to scout the top gearbox manufacturers and have the report on my desk by noon tomorrow.  I don’t want you going with the easiest one to find—the thing could break on us in the first six laps.”

“Mr. Steinbrenner, sir, I really don’t think—“

“You can start with some of those companies with the little decals on the sides of the cars.  I think most of them make car parts.  (Costanza begins to walk out)  I often wonder if those decals create any drag on the car.  You could run a sponsorless car and pick up a few miles per hour each race! (Costanza walks out)  Of course you’d lose money on the deal…”