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Some of you have asked and yes, that WAS me you heard on Nascar America’s new Wednesday call-in show, Motormouths. For those of you who missed it, here’s a transcript.
Rutledge Wood: “OK, it’s time for our first caller of the day—you’re on the air!”
Me: “Thanks Rut, I have a question for Pittman, first name Stu.”
Rutledge: “Wait—Stu Pittman? I’m sure I can take that question.”
Me: *laughs*
Rutledge: “What’s so—oh, WAIT A MINUTE! If I ever find you I’m gonna tie you to the back tire of a car and make it do hot laps!”
*deep breath*
Rutledge: “Sorry about that—let’s move on to our next caller.”
Me: “Yes, I was curious what you thought about the hot young development driver Esboring. I think his first name is DeShow.”
Rutledge: “Hmm, the name kinda rings a bell, what does the crew think about DeShow Esboring?”
Me: *laughs*
Crewmember: “You’re the cause of that, Rut!”
Rutledge: “ITS YOU AGAIN ISN’T IT! Listen you little punk! When I find you I’m gonna take your guts apart for inspection and make sure you fail multiple times!”
*frustrated sigh*
Rutledge: “Again I apologize. Ok, let’s try another caller here.”
Me: (heavily disguised voice) “Hello, I am, uh, new to this sport, and, uh, I’m looking for a driver to, uh, follow. I was thinking, uh, about that guy Gimmick, first name’s, uh, Ima.”
Rutledge: “Ima Gimmick?”
Kyle Petty: “You got that right!”
Rutledge: “Oh now THAT DOES IT! I’m gonna find you, take you down to the track, and beat you to death with my microphone in the urinal stalls!”
Me: “Yeah that’ll be another segment you do that’ll be a bathroom break!” *hangs up!*
Rutledge: “OH THAT SON OF A...well, I think that’s all the time we have for to...wait, we have one more caller? It’s not that guy...oh, good, ok, you’re on the air.”
Bill Weber: “NBC still owes me money from my work for Champ Car”
Rutledge: “CLOSE. BILL’S. MIC. NOW.”