Pages

Nascar Announces Plan to Tout Shrinking Fanbase as "Extremely Exclusive Club"


Having dealt with sinking television ratings and plummeting attendance numbers for several years, Nascar has attempted to deal with the problems in a number of controversial ways—introducing a playoff system, the introduction of stage racing, and more.  However, in an apparent pivot away from such “gimmicks”, Nascar has stated that starting next weekend, a new marketing initiative will promote the sport’s dwindling popularity as an “exclusive opportunity” for fans.
“Everyone wants to get into an exclusive club—well, what’s become a more-exclusive club than the ranks of the Nascar fan?”, Nascar chairman Brian France said from his Daytona Beach offices.  “Anybody can be a pro football or baseball fan, but only a select few can be a Nascar fan, and the time is now to join in on this exclusive opportunity.”
Nascar will roll out the new marketing program starting with Saturday Night’s race, airing a number of commercials promoting the sport’s select clientele of remaining fans.
“One commercial shows a really high-end club in Manhattan—and boy do I know about those—with only about a dozen or so people inside”, France said while standing next to a “The Few, The Proud, The Racefans” sign.  “We then fade to black and these words appear: ‘Less people than the most exclusive cocktail parties in New York—a Nascar race.’  Now who wouldn’t want to join a club that is THAT exclusive?!?”
Commercials will also air during a number of other sporting events, including one that shows a person being crowded at a Major League Baseball stadium, then lounging in comfort at a race.
“Not just anybody can be a race fan, and we’re finally playing up that fact for the first time”, France said proudly.  “We’re the not-so-secret society, the platinum club of platinum clubs, the 1% of the 1%.  So join now, while you still can.”
France went on to point out how such future innovations as mid-week Cup races will do even more to narrow down the fan base’s “exclusivity”.