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Denny Hamlin Announces He’s Done with Negativity from Online Idiots


Denny Hamlin came out strong against so-called “Twitter Trolls” this past week, stating that he is no longer willing to engage in negativity online with morons, jerks, and dummies.
“There’s far too much negativity in this world—especially in our sport right now”, Hamlin said in an exclusive followup with Spade Racing.  “I think we all need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and realize that these buttheads are just jealous cretins typing from their parents’ basements.”
Hamlin has been the subject of much online ridicule, for reasons ranging from petty (his ongoing feud with Joey Logano) to Petty (kicking Bubba Wallace Jr. off his rec basketball team) to both (his long ago argument with Kyle Petty at Dover).  But Hamlin now claims to be beyond all that.
“Not to sound naive, but the world really does need more happiness and positivity—not whiny drivel from some pinhead who’s never turned a lap in his lifetime”, Hamlin said.  “From now on I’m refusing to give these nincompoops an audience—its just ‘scroll right by those twits’ and move on.”
Hamlin’s placid attitude towards blockheads may help him in his pursuit of an elusive first-ever Cup championship.
“This season is all about winning—stages, races, and a championship”, Hamlin forthrightly explained.  “And we’re not going to let any simpleton, dolt, or dimwit stand in our way.  The only thing that’s going to stop us is another driver outperforming us on the track—well, that or my back flaring up again.”
When asked for his comments, Hamlin’s teammate Kyle Busch—a lightning rod for criticism both online and otherwise—had this to say: “Hey, if someone wants to criticize me, I’ll debate ‘em online—thanks to Nascar’s limits on Cup drivers in lower series I got plenty of time.”